Boy, does THIS sound familiar! I had really been courted by my ex-husband
through
the mail, by letter, because he went away to school. I had met him towards
the end of
the summer and the first few flush weeks are far too lust-ridden to be the
basis of a life-long
commitment.
He was a great romantic letter writer, though, and we burned up the post
office air mail.
We even got engaged through the mail! Unfortunately, we got married in
person....
He had a history of abuse as a child, covered with scars his mother had
inflicted (she was in
and out of mental hospitals). I, on the otherhand, could not have had a
more loving, caring
set of parents. So, what I was doing - and the pattern struck for the
balance of my future
relationships - was marrying someone because I felt sorry for him. And
right before the
wedding there were a couple of instances where he was screaming and
physically abusive -
slapped me. But, dummy me, I accepted his excuses and apologies - another
precedent-setting
behavioral pattern on my part.
Anyway, after we were married the abuse continued and worsened. The only
good thing I can say
about the marriage is that I got out quickly, although two years seemed an
eternity under the circumstances,
and there had been no children born to the marriage. Thank God.
My daughter will not be as naive as was I, and I'm not sorry she's more
aware and cautious, but I am sorry
knowing the treatment at the hands of her father which taught her not to be
accepting and trusting of others.
through
the mail, by letter, because he went away to school. I had met him towards
the end of
the summer and the first few flush weeks are far too lust-ridden to be the
basis of a life-long
commitment.
He was a great romantic letter writer, though, and we burned up the post
office air mail.
We even got engaged through the mail! Unfortunately, we got married in
person....
He had a history of abuse as a child, covered with scars his mother had
inflicted (she was in
and out of mental hospitals). I, on the otherhand, could not have had a
more loving, caring
set of parents. So, what I was doing - and the pattern struck for the
balance of my future
relationships - was marrying someone because I felt sorry for him. And
right before the
wedding there were a couple of instances where he was screaming and
physically abusive -
slapped me. But, dummy me, I accepted his excuses and apologies - another
precedent-setting
behavioral pattern on my part.
Anyway, after we were married the abuse continued and worsened. The only
good thing I can say
about the marriage is that I got out quickly, although two years seemed an
eternity under the circumstances,
and there had been no children born to the marriage. Thank God.
My daughter will not be as naive as was I, and I'm not sorry she's more
aware and cautious, but I am sorry
knowing the treatment at the hands of her father which taught her not to be
accepting and trusting of others.
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